Somewhere along the way, girls lacrosse programs in SoCal decided that a whistle, a clipboard, and strong “dad energy” were enough to qualify as elite coaching credentials. A man with a whistle, a loud voice, and confidence can become an “elite coach” almost overnight.

By definition, not one single man has ever played women’s lacrosse. Yet teams and programs all over SoCal are being led by men. Men who played high school lacrosse 20 years ago. Men who played football or basketball but never lacrosse. Men with daughters who have decided they know more than the women actually qualified for the positions.

And somehow, parents immediately buy in.

Expensive small-group training sessions.
Private lessons.
Club leadership positions.
Varsity coaching jobs.
Social media branding.
“Mentorship.”
“Culture building.”
“Elite development.”

No real resume required, while experienced female coaches — former college players, lifelong students of the women’s game, accomplished leaders with actual playing and coaching backgrounds — are questioned constantly.

Too intense.
Too emotional.
Too direct.
Too hard on the girls.
Too demanding.
Too confident.

The irony is hard to ignore.

In girls lacrosse, we often trust inexperienced men faster than experienced women.

Why?

Part of it is cultural. Parents are conditioned to associate male authority with leadership, competitiveness, and expertise — even when the expertise itself is thin.

Part of it is presentation. Confidence in men is interpreted as credibility. Confidence in women is interpreted as attitude.

Male coaches, especially in parent-driven youth sports environments, are often given more room to “perform authority” without being questioned.

Nobody asks: What is his actual lacrosse background?
Who developed him as a coach?
What athletes has he truly produced?
Does he understand the women’s game specifically?
Why is he coaching girls instead of boys?
What qualifies him to charge premium prices?

The questions simply come less often, and that double standard matters.

Because girls sports need strong female leadership. Not just as role models, but as experts. As decision-makers. As people whose knowledge is respected without needing to constantly prove it.

Instead, too often, women in the game are expected to be perfect while men are rewarded simply for being confident.

At some point, the girls lacrosse community has to decide whether we value actual expertise — or just confidence packaged well enough to sell.

Maybe it’s time to think a little harder about who we are giving our money, our time, and our athletes to — and why.